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download-2Since the new trailer for Ted 2 revealed a character named Samantha L. Jackson, played by Amanda Seyfried, I thought now would be the right time to introduce the world to my cat. I have had a cat named Samantha L. Jackson since 2008. Of course, Seth MacFarlane doesn’t know this. I just think great minds thing alike and we both celebrate the great actor Samuel L. Jackson, although my cat may prove more like her namesake than Seyfried.

I got a pair of kittens in 2008 and when I met this little black feline baby, I knew she was a bad motherf*cker. So I thought wouldn’t it be funny if I actually named her Samantha L. Jackson? I’m celebrating one of my favorite actors with a feline avatar. She has lived up to her name. She staked her territory in the house. She growls when the doorbell rings. She eats paper. She definitely doesn’t let anyone f*** with her sh**. She’s got his eyes too.

Samuel L. Jackson does know about her, because I told him shortly after I got her. When I told her I download-3named her after him because she’s a bad motherf*cker, he said that was cool. So my Samantha L. Jackson comes with official bad motherf*cker endorsement.

They did it wrong though. The joke isn’t that it abbreviates to Sam L. Jackson. The point is it’s the feminine version of the name and she’s still badass. Samantha L. Jackson would be the female bad motherf*cker. It doesn’t end there. When Samantha L. Jackson fights with my other cats, I call it The Bourne Felinity because it’s really brutal, you can’t see what’s going on and it’s over very quickly.

But this is only a trailer. We’ll see when Ted 2 opens June 26. Note: I will not bring Samantha L. Jackson to the junket. She’s had it with those motherf*ckin’ teddy bears in that motherf*ckin’ movie.